Is your toddler resisting naps? Don’t ditch nap time just yet! Learn why naps are still essential for young children, how to handle nap refusal, and tips to improve your toddler’s sleep routine.
“But I don’t want to sleep! I want to plaaaayyyy!” Does this phrase have a familiar ring to it? It is quite common for a toddler to start to decide nap-time is not quite fun-time. Staying awake is much more exciting and interesting.
You might take this resistance to nap time as a sign that it is time to drop naps all together. (This post contains affiliate links). Before you take that step, please reconsider! In the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, Weissbluth says, “Between twenty-two and thirty-six months, most children still need to nap” (page 313). I fully agree with this. Wants and needs are very different things, and just because your child doesn’t want to nap, doesn’t mean your child doesn’t need to nap. Your toddler’s sleep needs means that in order to get enough sleep in a 24 hour period, a nap is still required.
Of course, the process of keeping the nap in place is easier said than done. So what should your do when your child wants to drop that nap but you still need nap to happen? Let’s discuss common reasons for sleep issues and how to address them.
1-Do Not Drop the Nap
I have been told how lucky I am that my children nap until they are quite old. This is no luck! Do not not be fooled; I have had some resistance to naps over the years. Of course a toddler has better things in mind other than napping! They want to delay, prevent, and stop the nap at all costs. Little toddlers get quite creative. Some get quite angry.
But you don’t drop it. You stick with it. Keep nap time in place if you want nap time to continue.
For help knowing when to drop naps, see my post on how to know when your child is ready to stop napping. When your child is ready to cut back on napping, implement rest time. You have some time yet before you will be totally dropping this chunk of time in the afternoon known as nap time.
Why Not Drop the Nap?
You might be thinking the effort to keep the nap is too great or that it would actually be really nice to be done with naps. So why not just drop it?
Dropping sleep before the child is ready for it leads to a sleep deficit. Sleep begets sleep, and in the same way, lack of sleep leads to lack of sleep. The child who should be napping but isn’t will eventually start having a hard time falling asleep at night or start waking earlier and earlier in the mornings. Sleep deficits usually take a few weeks to build up, so you often don’t put the cause and effect together.
2-Have Enough Physical and Mental Stimulation
Your child will sleep better if you have some activity in the morning that challenges her mentally. Learning activities will help work her brain and give her body need of sleep to process what she has learned. You also want physical movement. Gross motor movement really helps kids sleep better. Go for a walk. Blow bubbles for her to chase. Get a little trampoline for inside the house or a ball house so she can move and get physically tired.
3-Analyze Nap Start Time
Your child will show the least amount of resistance to nap time if you get the start time of naps correct. This takes us back to thinking about waketime length just like we did with babies. Overtiredness can still disrupt sleep for toddlers. Some children are incredibly sensitive to the timing of this nap. When Brayden was a toddler, we had a ten minute window, and if I didn’t meet it, nap didn’t happen that day. He stayed awake. Keep a log and find patterns for when nap works and when it doesn’t.
Along this same line of thinking, you want to make sure you still have a nap routine in place for your toddler. A naptime routine will indicate it is nap time and help your toddler settle down for a nap.
Nap refusals can also be an issue if your toddler has too many daytime naps in the day. It might be time to adjust your nap schedule and move to one nap a day and just have the afternoon nap.
It is also good to be aware that it is very normal for a 2-year-old to just not nap every day. That is common and nothing to stress out about.
>>>Read: Sleep Totals: How Much Sleep Should Your Child Get?
4-Analyze Bedtime
A possible reason for no naps is having bedtime either too early or too late. It can be either one, so you will need to experiment with earlier or later bedtime to see if that solves the issue.
Just as a nap routine is still important before nap time, a bedtime routine is important before bedtime. This can be the exact same as your nap routine or it can be different. A bedtime routine helps prepare your toddler for solid nighttime sleep.
You want to be aware of how many hours of sleep your toddler should be getting in a 24-hour period. If you are pushing for too much sleep, your toddler will not sleep well at nap time. A toddler should be sleeping 10-12 hours at night and taking naps that are 1.5-3 hours long.
5-Be Honest With Yourself
Weissbluth says, “Ask yourself whether napping is your child’s problem or your problem” (page 327). This is a moment where you need to be really honest with yourself. Do you have a hard time being home each day for nap time? If so, you are not providing the consistency your child needs to get a nap in. I promise your day will come when you will have the freedom to take off and go shopping, go out to eat, or just run errands during the afternoon. For now, get out in the morning hours if you must get out and be home in time for nap.
6-Be Aware of Sleep Regressions
Two year olds often have a sleep regression. It is normal, it happens, and it isn’t anything to freak out about. Remember back to the four month sleep regression? Baby’s sleep went crazy? You are facing the same thing now with toddler sleep regressions. Sometimes the answer is to just keep going as you have and wait for the regression to end.
7-Address Sleep Disruptions and Distractions
There are many things that can and will disrupt a toddler’s sleep. One thing can be toys. Are there toys in the bedroom that tempt your child to get up and play? Are there toys in your toddler’s bed that your kiddo plays with rather than sleep?
On the flip side, sometimes adding a toy to the bed helps your child blow off some steam as they wind down and get ready to nap. I prefer a book in bed rather than a toy, but some toddlers love a stuffy or lovie.
Your toddler might be ready to move out of the crib. The crib can get to be too small and uncomfortable for your toddler. Sometimes moving out of the crib makes it hard for a toddler to sleep because they suddenly want to test the boundary of the bed and get out over and over.
Potty training can also disrupt nap time. If your kiddo is napping in underwear, they can use the need to go potty as an easy easy to get out of bed over and over again rather than sleep.
Daylight can make it hard for your toddler to have daytime sleep or to sleep in the morning. Blackout curtains offer an easy fix to help with this.
You might also find your toddler very distracted by other noises in the house or outside and find white noise machines help block that noise so your toddler sleeps well through a sleep transition.
You always want to analyze a child’s sleep environment when sleep is rough.
Another thing to think about is any big changes in your toddler’s life. It is common for a toddler to suddenly (to them) have a new sibling or mom is pregnant and they have a new routine. Have patience with your toddler as they adjust to the changes in their life.
Conclusion
Your toddler won’t always thank you. Your toddler probably won’t thank you at all for requiring sleep! Tantrums can be very normal at nap time. When your little one emphatically proclaims that she doesn’t want to sleep, gently tell her you know that, you understand it, but her body needs sleep. Having that sleep will help avoid irritability in the evenings and prevent your toddler from becoming overstimulated. At the very least, time spent in the bed is good quiet time that allows for rest and recovery.
Related Posts
This post first appeared on this blog in February 2017