Raising teens means balancing freedom with safety. Learn practical guardrails—like dating rules, curfews, and phone limits—that help protect your teen while building trust and independence.
From the time your child is born, each day they should be growing more and more independent. As they get older, you allow more freedoms and autonomy.
As your teenager gets older, you start to wonder how much control they should have and what kind of rules you should still have in place. They’re growing in independence, wanting to make their own choices, and preparing for adulthood—but they still need guidance. Yes, your teens still need rules and boundaries. Just like highways have guardrails to keep drivers from veering off course, our teens need boundaries to protect them as they learn to navigate life’s roads. Guardrails don’t restrict freedom—they provide safety.
>>>Read: How Much Control Should You Give Teens
Here are some practical “guardrails” you can set for your teen to help them thrive:
Dating Boundaries
Dating is exciting for teens but can also be overwhelming. Setting expectations early helps prevent confusion and poor decisions. Have clear guardrails around dating. Do not assume your teen knows what you expect. Discuss it before they even start dating and review it throughout their dating years. Examples include:
- Setting an age for when they are allowed to start dating
- Setting an appropriate age for group vs. one-on-one dating
- Establishing curfew times
- Encouraging group activities before individual dates
- Clear rules about being alone with someone they are interested in
- Keeping communication open about who they’re with and where they’re going
- Establishing if steady dating is allowed or not
Think through all of these issues and talk about them with your spouse. Discuss them with your teen before any issues come up.
It is wise to have family policies. It is okay to have rules and standards that apply to everyone.
It is also okay to add, remove, or modify rules for your other kids. Just because your oldest was allowed to do something doesn’t mean it is a good idea for your youngest. Just because your oldest wasn’t allowed to do something doesn’t mean it isn’t okay for your middle child. You want to always evaluate your rules and modify as needed.
Phone & Technology Use
Phones are powerful tools—but also major distractions. Guardrails help keep technology in its place. Consider:
- A family phone charging station in a central location (no phones in bedrooms overnight)
- Not allowing any device in a room with the door closed
- Screen-free family time during meals
- Setting clear limits on apps, social media, and online gaming. This includes the amount of time spent on technology AND what apps are allowed or not allowed. I have apps that are an absolute no for my kids living at home
- Having access to passwords until trust is built
- Require permission for any app to be downloaded. You can make this a setting
- Establish rating limits for what your teen is allowed to watch
>>>Read: Cell Phone Rules for Teens and Tweens
Curfew & Check-Ins
A set curfew isn’t about control—it’s about safety and teaching responsibility. Some parents wonder if they should have a curfew or not, and the answer is yes. You can read all about the reasons here: Should You Give Your Teenager a Curfew?. Guardrails might include:
- Agreeing on a reasonable curfew based on age and event
- Sharing the plans for the outing
- Requiring a quick text or call if plans change. We tell our kids to share with us anytime they change locations
- Clear consequences for not checking in or coming home late. Establish this before it becomes a problem. A really great natural consequence is your curfew will be moved up the same amount of time you were late. So you were 30 minutes late? Your cufew will now be 30 minutes earlier for the next 2-4 weeks
And as parents, absolutely use the “Find My” feature to check in on your kids. We have had times when we saw our child would not make it home for curfew without some major speeding and sent a text before they left saying, “We see you will be late. Please do not speed to make it home in time.”
And be reasonable. If your child calls and says, “Hey, XYZ is happening, can I be 15 minutes later tonight” say yes if you can. Sometimes you can’t. But if you can, give them some grace at times. If they are asking for exceptions regularly, I would not say yes every time.
School & Activities
Teens juggle academics, sports, friends, and family life. Guardrails here help them stay balanced. Examples:
- Prioritizing homework before screen time. We have a rule that there is no technology can happen until things like homework, piano practice, and chores are done
- Setting limits on how many extracurriculars they can join if necessary
- Encouraging at least one family meal together each day. Do your best to have a meal together as a family as often as possible. There is strong research to support the benefits of this
>>>Read: Why You NEED to Prioritize Family Meals
Money & Responsibilities
Teens need practice managing money before adulthood. Guardrails include:
- Guidance on saving, giving, and spending
- Requiring effort for money–you do not want to just always be handing yoru teen money to do what they want with it
- Encouraging part-time jobs once they’re ready
It really helps teens to take the concept of money more seriously if they have set goals in place. What is coming up in their future that will require money? Do they plan to pursue education after high school? If so, how will they pay for it? Who will pay for their car once they can drive? Think through big events and help them set goals and understand how much money their goals will require.
Faith & Values
Whatever your family’s values are, talk about them often. Teens are bombarded with voices from peers, media, and culture—your voice should be the clearest. Guardrails here might look like:
- Attending church or family worship together
- Family discussions about choices, character, and integrity
- Modeling the values you hope your teen will follow
Final Thoughts
Guardrails aren’t about micromanaging your teen—they’re about guiding, protecting, and preparing them for the freedom of adulthood. With love, consistency, and open communication, these boundaries can help your teen feel both secure and respected as they grow.
And as your teen moves from 13-18, adjust guardrails as appropriate so they can have more freedom. Keep guardrails in place to keep your kids safe, but allow decision making responsiblity as you can so they can practice this control while they are still home and have your oversight. If it prooves to be too much for them, take that control back some.
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