As any mom of multiple children would likely agree, your heart grows with each new addition. But it’s also true that your time with each child is limited when siblings are in the picture. This is where quality time comes into play!
When my family of three turned into a family of four, I wasn’t prepared for the guilt I’d feel for not being able to give either of my two children 100% of my time and attention. Almost two years into being a mama of two littles, I still feel guilty sometimes. That said, I’m focusing on what I can do to make sure each of my children feels special every day. Here are a handful of my favorite tried-and-true ideas!
5 Easy Ways to Share the Love When You Have Multiple Children
If you’re a mom of multiple children and want each of your tiny humans to know how cherished they are, this one’s for you. Whether within your daily routine or for special occasions, there are plenty of ways to ensure each child feels extra special, even when they have siblings to share the love and attention with. For example:
1. Plan Rotating “Special Days” or Mama-and-Child Dates
I grew up with three sisters and remember my mom planning “special days” on a rotating basis. Every so often, she’d take one of us at a time on a one-on-one date to a spot near and dear to our family in the mountains. I always looked forward to my special day. Although I don’t remember what we talked about or even necessarily what we did, I remember spending time together. And that meant the world.
This is something I’ve tweaked and carried on with my own babies. My daughter and I love going out for protein shakes after ballet class. My son is only a 1.5-year-old, but a morning full of baby gym and errands — just the two of us — is always special. Planning rotating, one-on-one outings with your kiddos is a great way to make them feel loved. Perhaps it will be a nice change of pace for you, too!
2. Introduce — And Practice — Personalized Affirmations
I’m a firm believer in the power of our words and the impact they have on others. Affirmations are an excellent way to instill self-esteem in our children. Whether you incorporate them into your family’s daily routine or introduce them spontaneously as you see fit, affirmations are an excellent tool for reminding your kiddos of their worth. You might have your child who struggles with being in new settings repeat, “I’m strong, I’m brave, and I’m courageous,” leading up to a new activity. Or your budding artist or musician might repeat, “I’m creative, I’m original, and I’m focused.” Whatever the words, they’ll remind your children of their unique strengths — and stick with them for the long run.
3. Make Time for Individual Bedtime Routines
Closing out each day with a predictable, thoughtful routine can ensure your kiddos feel safe and secure before drifting off to sleep. When possible, making space for individualized bedtime routines for each of my babies yields a more peaceful night for everyone. My daughter loves reading books together, saying bedtime prayers, and chatting about our day before sharing a quick bedtime snack. My son is most comforted by lots of snuggles, kisses, and lullabies. Paying attention to what means the most to each child — even in the mundane, routine parts of our day — is critical to making them feel extra special.
4. Create Unique Traditions
If you’re anything like me and take pride in creating lasting memories for your children, you probably value family traditions. While whole-family traditions are wonderful, there’s something extra delightful about creating special one-on-one traditions with your kids. During the holidays, one of my favorite mommy-daughter traditions from my childhood that I’ve started sharing with my daughter is relaxing by the Christmas tree — just the two of us — once everyone else is asleep. During February, both of my babies wake up to paper hearts on their bedroom doors saying special things I love about them as individuals. No matter how simple or extravagant, the art of sharing traditions with your tiny humans can make any childhood a bit more magical.
5. Be Genuine
As a mama of two young children, it can be tempting to never give one kiddo a compliment, hug, or any other form of affection and leave the other without. However, I’ve learned to let each of my little ones hold the spotlight without always feeling the need to share it with the other. Children are more intuitive than we realize and can pick up on when we’re being genuine and when we’re not. Overdoing it for the sake of sharing the love “equally” really isn’t necessary. Focus on offering sincere, meaningful bits of affection directed at one kiddo at a time — without constantly feeling the need to repeat the same gesture toward the other. This allows each child to receive and soak in your love.
You’re Doing Your Best . . . And Your Babies Know It!
Above all else, try not to beat yourself up wondering if you’re doing enough to make each of your tiny humans feel extra special day to day. Being a mama of multiple children is hard, and you can only do so much. So, give yourself grace — your little ones know how much you love them. Promise!